oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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