What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize