i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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