Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
third nipple confirmed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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