No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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