i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
