dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
