Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
