But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
