I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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