just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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