We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
