Tell her she can't have a vagina
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize