is your mom at the bar?
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
