Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
