im having a threesome with these popsicles
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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