i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
