Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My nipple is on Facebook.

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  (248): My nipple is on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/5rti
  Replies (5) Good night (963) Bad night (1098)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Man I wish I had been there

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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  (314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a
  Replies (11) Good night (2730) Bad night (607)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.

  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm in love

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  (206): Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15. (425): i'm in love http://tfl.nu/ppcv
  Replies (23) Good night (1141) Bad night (3304)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

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  (732): Just found my car keys in your throw-up. http://tfl.nu/b21p
  Replies (20) Good night (901) Bad night (8747)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...

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  (970): in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea... http://tfl.nu/cfy4
  Replies (5) Good night (2955) Bad night (971)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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  (912): He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/csjq
  Replies (21) Good night (5800) Bad night (1178)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

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  (917): I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out. http://tfl.nu/g8zl
  Replies (27) Good night (5395) Bad night (2535)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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  (715): There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this. http://tfl.nu/w1ne
  Replies (8) Good night (3329) Bad night (602)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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  (740): besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right? http://tfl.nu/pxhk
  Replies (7) Good night (1421) Bad night (657)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (2112)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.

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  (304): 1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills. http://tfl.nu/lzae
  Replies (10) Good night (1458) Bad night (580)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days

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  (917): Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days http://tfl.nu/z3dv
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (315)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.

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  (814): You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios. http://tfl.nu/hqlk
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (406)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"

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  (609): Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits" http://tfl.nu/28wn
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (230)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.

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  (480): Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him. http://tfl.nu/55pw
  Replies (0) Good night (1487) Bad night (242)

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