on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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