Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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  (617): Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin http://tfl.nu/g5qp
  Replies (6) Good night (877) Bad night (1040)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

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  (607): Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day. http://tfl.nu/b0xj
  Replies (29) Good night (34198) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober

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  (608): I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober http://tfl.nu/eoub
  Replies (27) Good night (4596) Bad night (734)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  well he's currently spooning the coffee table

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  (409): well he's currently spooning the coffee table http://tfl.nu/7khb
  Replies (6) Good night (4207) Bad night (1354)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3700) Bad night (903)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.

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  (802): I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes. http://tfl.nu/xpl7
  Replies (7) Good night (1076) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job

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  (519): he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job http://tfl.nu/3g10
  Replies (8) Good night (858) Bad night (3757)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.

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  (240): and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well. http://tfl.nu/nn8d
  Replies (12) Good night (3140) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me

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  (845): I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me http://tfl.nu/ucgi
  Replies (4) Good night (2953) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed

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  (336): There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed http://tfl.nu/1ryb
  Replies (4) Good night (1468) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.

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  (718): She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on. http://tfl.nu/7c2k
  Replies (4) Good night (1233) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.

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  (717): I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets. http://tfl.nu/qvke
  Replies (9) Good night (1858) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?

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  (207): You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet? http://tfl.nu/ukgu
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.

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  (+61): He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar. http://tfl.nu/olys
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed

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  (517): I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed http://tfl.nu/w2px
  Replies (4) Good night (354) Bad night (650)

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