Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like the friend zone has no room for winks