I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?