yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
