Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I looked at my own cervix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I looked at my own cervix. http://tfl.nu/c8go
  Replies (24) Good night (896) Bad night (2816)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum. http://tfl.nu/czce
  Replies (35) Good night (927) Bad night (6619)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking. http://tfl.nu/ou65
  Replies (17) Good night (5088) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3688) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye http://tfl.nu/ds98
  Replies (12) Good night (1211) Bad night (2724)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories. http://tfl.nu/22b8
  Replies (6) Good night (1920) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (1812)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/2ky9
  Replies (9) Good night (2492) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Damn you and your Monday night power hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Damn you and your Monday night power hours. http://tfl.nu/3ta4
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/u2fj
  Replies (3) Good night (2224) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please. http://tfl.nu/htsn
  Replies (5) Good night (1045) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp
  Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either. http://tfl.nu/lxlu
  Replies (5) Good night (482) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5
  Replies (4) Good night (293) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets. http://tfl.nu/myn2
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (200)

Randomize