The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.