Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  You're my little dorito

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  (269): You're my little dorito http://tfl.nu/8gay
  Replies (4) Good night (1511) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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  (519): I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke http://tfl.nu/3o1y
  Replies (50) Good night (1128) Bad night (2655) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.

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  (251): the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville. http://tfl.nu/cwli
  Replies (37) Good night (1095) Bad night (4957) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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  (519): I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front. http://tfl.nu/mrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (4478) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

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  (906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs
  Replies (4) Good night (2881) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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  (732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1419) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready

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  (515): P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready http://tfl.nu/rgh6
  Replies (15) Good night (1640) Bad night (1195)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.

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  (832): He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits. http://tfl.nu/umk6
  Replies (9) Good night (645) Bad night (993)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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  (717): i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer. http://tfl.nu/4jv5
  Replies (11) Good night (1626) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.

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  (512): Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand. http://tfl.nu/mrxq
  Replies (5) Good night (356) Bad night (766)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.

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  (641): If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics. http://tfl.nu/etl3
  Replies (8) Good night (1399) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

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  (303): You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted... http://tfl.nu/r2o3
  Replies (1) Good night (1334) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

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  (+49): Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/6o3i
  Replies (7) Good night (428) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there

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  (617): There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there http://tfl.nu/2ki5
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (297)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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  (408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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