Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  From behind she looks like Richard Simmons

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  (608): From behind she looks like Richard Simmons http://tfl.nu/z6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (656) Bad night (3344)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.

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  (862): my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around. http://tfl.nu/z3u8
  Replies (13) Good night (4976) Bad night (1057)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
  Replies (34) Good night (5886) Bad night (1304)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  bring the vodka.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?

  (904): View more from Florida

  we are.

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  (904): bring the vodka. (1-904): i thought we were going to mcdonalds..? (904): we are. http://tfl.nu/1144
  Replies (33) Good night (9901) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.

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  (561): i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it. http://tfl.nu/80hm
  Replies (9) Good night (2474) Bad night (1370)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night

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  (409): Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night http://tfl.nu/3ybg
  Replies (2) Good night (2389) Bad night (977)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.

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  (416): There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist. http://tfl.nu/x1kf
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (1195)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

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  (571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk
  Replies (3) Good night (1172) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo

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  (248): I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo http://tfl.nu/bfzl
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (587)
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  (408): View more from California

  Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.

  (408): View more from California

  Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly

  (1-408): View more from California

  I approve this so hard.

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  (408): Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon. (408): Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly (1-408): I approve this so hard. http://tfl.nu/8gh1
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.

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  (501): I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT. http://tfl.nu/wa70
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.

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  (712): My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain. http://tfl.nu/1h8o
  Replies (4) Good night (457) Bad night (450)
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  (415): View more from California

  Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

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  (415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl
  Replies (9) Good night (903) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman

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  (937): honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman http://tfl.nu/c0vg
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.

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  (574): He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions. http://tfl.nu/84tr
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (246)

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