just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize