We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
