is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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