yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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