Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
