Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Randomize
