No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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