help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So squirting runs in the family.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
