I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
