used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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