i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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