I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
