i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
