So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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