He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
