I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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