oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
