i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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