My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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