Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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