i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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