she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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