All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
