My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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