If that was your dad, he is hot
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
