Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
