id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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