I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
