By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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