No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
