If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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