You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize