nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
