i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
