Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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