I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
