People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
