You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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