Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
