You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Randomize
