nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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