It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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