i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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