you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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