Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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